Top 3 Reasons to Elect George Lucas For President In 2012

Next year is the 2012 Presidential race, and candidates are already getting ready for what’s sure to be another action packed, political slugfest. And while there’s little doubt we’ll end up with a Republican or a Democrat for President, I suggest we nominate George Lucas on the Rebel Alliance ticket. No, really. George Lucas would be a great candidate! And instead of a donkey or an elephant, his party animal could be a Tauntaun!

GeorgeWhiteHouse

1) Slip of the Tongue? No Problem!

A common problem with nominees seems to be their mouths. They can’t stop running them, and eventually, something stupid falls out. Both VP candidates fell victim to this last time around, and lets face it, no one wants to vote for an idiot.

But with George Lucas, that’s no longer a problem! After he does his interviews and debates, he can go back and digitally alter the originals to make himself sound like JFK and his opponent sound like a Fascist. And if anyone objects? Too bad! The originals will be sealed in a vault on the Fox lot!

2) He Could Sweep the Minorities

Every election, there’s always debate on whether so-and-so will get the African-American vote or the Latin-American vote. These groups comprise significant voting power, and even if it does seem kinda dumb (coughracistcough) to think all people of one ethnicity will vote the same way, well, that’s the media for you.

But with George as our Presidential Candidate, we’ll get a much larger percentage of the population than just ethnic minorities. We can wrap up the entire geek, nerd, and over-aged virgin communities without a problem!

3) HE CAN’T LOSE

But most importantly, no matter what, we can’t lose. Why?

“These Are Not The Candidates You Are Searching For”

And a whole country of weak minded voters says “Move along.”
Check us out on Facebook and tell us why YOU think George would be a great candidate for the 2012 Presidential race!

Cell Block 1138 No More!

“Prisoner transfer from cell block 1138.” For many of us, that was the first reference to THX 1138 we’d heard. Now, everyone knows it’s a reference to George Lucas’ first full length film, but did you watch it? If so, I hope it was before 2004 when George decided to play with his computer and redo a number of scenes with CGI.

Long Ago, Before Star Wars

Many of George Lucas’ fans have seen THX 1138, and maybe a few of you even like it. It’s a tale of a dystopian future where everyone lives underground, has a name made up of letters and numbers, android cops rule the streets, and people are forced to consume mind altering drugs. And oh yeah, sex is forbidden. Until LUH 3417 makes THX 1138 stop drinking the community Kool-Aid and they try to find somewhere a little less big brother like to live.

The movie was a flop, to say the least, but after the success of Star Wars, George Lucas released it again. And it flopped again. Even Star Wars can’t perform miracles. But it lives on as a cult classic, and has a pretty loyal following, if a relatively small one. Compared to say, Star Wars.

But proving yet again that some things just can’t be left alone, George Lucas went back in and edited it for a DVD Director’s Cut in 2004. And as expected from the Ranch, it’s the only official version available.

Could Be Worse…

However, that being said, most of the edits were more or less minor. Most. It wouldn’t be George Lucas if he didn’t use his super-computer to redo entire scenes or add some new ones. To be fair, some of the changes aren’t bad. The scene where everything is going to hell in a hand basket looks a lot better than it did. And of course, some of the changes will just make your brain hurt trying to figure out his motivation until you get distracted by something easier to understand like “What is the answer to life, the universe and everything?” (Hint: It’s 42.)

What The…?

And really, it wouldn’t even be as bad a tragedy as his edits of the OT (shudder) if not for the fact he also rearranged a few things and it ALTERS THE STORY!
It’s not an overly drastic alteration. No more drastic than if, say, Chewbacca, Luke and Han all went to preschool together. Yeah, it’s like that. And even if that is a bad analogy (feel free to provide a better one in the comments), it still doesn’t change the fact that some things are sacrosanct. Like the plot.

If not for the plot changes, these edits don’t actually detract from the movie, like in the OT, and in some rare instances, actually add something to it. So maybe George is learning after all. He just isn’t a very quick student.

Decide For Yourself

THX1138 Director's Cut VS Original

If you’re a fan of THX 1138, tell us what you think of George’s decision to not leave well enough alone. Also tell us WHY you like it. We’re curious.

And don’t forget to hit us up on Facebook and Twitter for all the stuff that doesn’t make it to the blog!

Top 5 Reasons Why Being A Stormtrooper Blows (Literally)

Are you fresh out of school and looking for an illustrious career path? Want to see unknown galaxies, meet new species and blow their planet up? Think serving in the Imperial militia is just the ticket to fame, fortune and hot green chicks with tentacles instead of hair? Do you want to be a Stormtrooper!?

Paper Troopers

Maybe you should think again…

Being a Stormtrooper may sound like a great idea, but in reality, there is no worse career path available. Why, you ask? Let’s take a look!

1) Your Training Will Be Subpar

Clearly, no one’s teaching these guys how to hold a weapon or aim, because unless you were one of the handful of crack shots that helped Lord Vader take Princess Leia’s ship, you will never hurt anything but walls. You might get a few glancing shots off a droid here and there, but every time you pull your blaster out, you better be ready for disappointment. Nothing is going to fall before you except over-sized teddy bears. Which brings us to point number two…

2) Your Army? Not So Powerful

Yeah, you’ll get awesome, cool weapons like blasters and AT-ATs, but in the end, it’s all useless without proper training. Your whole army is gonna get their asses handed to them by Ewoks. Ewoks, the cute, cuddly looking rejects from the Teddy Ruxspin factory. Almost as embarrassing as Oompa-Loompas bringing down the British Empire.

3) The Armor

Clearly, the Stormtrooper armor is useless. Primitive, flint-tipped spears go through it like a hot knife through warm butter. It’s not like the Empire doesn’t have any money. They built two Death Stars! But none of that money is being spent on the little guy doing the grunt work. Where do they get this stuff, Ord Mantell?

4) Your Death

Your death will suck. You will fall victim to giant tentacle desert monsters where the aforementioned third-rate armor won’t protect you much from being digested over the next two-thousand years.. Yay. You will also be mowed down en masse by guys in robes with really sharp flashlights. So much for a noble death.
Oh, and did I mention the teddy bears?

5) Your Boss

That’s right, your boss. He’s a seven foot tall asthmatic cyborg who lives in a black Easter egg. He makes you call him “Lord” and he’s a control freak in need of anger management. Do they not have Prozac on the Death Star?

He’s also one of only three to five people (depending on the movie) who believes in some mystic religion that lets him choke people without touching them. Great. If you’re ever late to work, your cult leader can drag you out of bed with his mind. Actually, he’s such a temperamental perfectionist, he’ll probably just choke you out for being late.

Oh, and his armor is WAAAAY cooler than yours. Because it works!

There are five reasons being a Stormtrooper blows. If you thought being a Stromtrooper sounded like the better career move, try something less dangerous. Like being Dick Cheney’s hunting guide.

Can you think of any other reasons? Or maybe why being a Stormtrooper ISN’T such a bad idea?

Tell us in the comments, or even better, shout it out on our Facebook page!

About The Oh-So-Awaited Star Wars Blu-Ray Edition….

As you all are probably aware, George Lucas plans to release all three of the good Star Wars movies and the prequels on Blu-ray in September. Taking a page from LotR, the Star Wars Saga collection also contains three discs full of over 30 hours of bonus materials and never before seen footage. This sounds great, right? Well, not so much.

Blu-Ray? Stop motion is cooler!

While it will undoubtedly look fantastic on Blu-ray, good ol’ Uncle George yet again leaves his most devoted long term fans in the cold. Is it going to have a remastered un-edited version of the original trilogy? Hell no.

No, we are yet again forced to buy George’s “visionary masterpiece” that pretty much does nothing except aggravate people who know how the movie is supposed to be. WTF? I already have this version! I bought it when they released the unedited version with it in 2008. A version which is possibly of worse quality than my VHS tapes.

On Amazon, there is a little war being waged in the reviews section, and it’s pretty clearly divided between 1 star and 5. The people giving it 5 stars can’t see what the problem is. So this next part is mainly for them.

The Problem

Here’s the issue. The people who want the unedited version remastered are the vanguard. We are the ones who came first. We are the ones who bought all of George’s toys, and models, and lunchboxes and now spend small fortunes for limited edition Millenium Falcon “Extraordinaire” promos from Toys “R”Us. If not for the original fans, Star Wars would not be here right now. We took Star Wars to heart and made it a part of us.

Then George Lucas came and changed what we loved so much. And it’s now not the same movie. No, you might not care if Han shot first or not, but that little detail speaks volumes about Han’s character. If he didn’t shoot first, then it was self-defense. But if he did, then it makes you realize that Han isn’t exactly a nice guy. He’s an outlaw. It shades his personality.

And that’s why it matters to us. If Leonardo Da Vinci came back to life and said “Hey, the Mona Lisa’s smile wasn’t supposed to be so demure” and then he gave her a big grin, that wouldn’t be okay with most people. And that’s what George Lucas did. He gave the Mona Lisa a big dopey smile.

George Lucas is ignoring the very people who made Star Wars famous and kept the spark alive between RotJ and TPM. We are his most faithful and loyal devotees, and how does he reward our belief and trust in him?

By refusing to give us the movie we actually love.

A Simple Solution

Here’s an idea, George. Instead of 30 hours of garbage I’ve probably already seen, how about giving us the uncut trilogy. You had to have it remastered before you started messing with it. It’s sitting in a closet somewhere and you won’t let us have it? It’s 6 measly hours. You could fit them all on one Blu-ray disc!

I know it won’t happen. But I can hope. Maybe, just maybe, when he does the 3D versions, he’ll release the originals with them. I doubt it. But as long as we still remember the glory of the originals, they’ll never truly die.

28th Annual Ohio 24-Hour Science Fiction Film Marathon

The People Vs George Lucas is coming to the coolest Sci-Fi Marathon on the East Coast!
We’ll be part of The 28th Annual Ohio 24 Hour Science Fiction Marathon: Across the 28th Dimension! The marathon starts at noon on Saturday, May 21, 2011 at the Drexel Theatre!

More Info & Tickets

The Drexel Theater is located at:
2254-56 E. Main St.
Columbus, Ohio 43209
You can purchase tickets now
The Sci-Fi Marathon is an entire spin of our planet watching science fiction features, premieres, over-looked gems, vintage trash and classics, along with cartoons, shorts and previews of coming attractions from years gone by.

At the NUART Theater in LA on 5/13

Attention LOS ANGELES! We’re coming for you 😉

Starting this Friday the 13th (!), The People Vs George Lucas will be showing at the famous NUART Theater in Los Angeles.

With multiple showtimes, your weekend will certainly be much more exciting after a good healthy dose of Star Wars debate (or comedy, according to some people).

Call all of your friends to see People Vs George Lucas!

The Official Details

TPVGL opens at the NUART Theater on May 13th

Showtimes and Ticket info available HERE

Check out TPVGL In The Press

With our upcoming theatrical run in the United States, the press has written a lot of cool new articles about the film. It’s an honor to list them on the site.

3rd Party Validation

Because we’re obviously biased towards the awesomeness of our film, it’s good for you to check what other people have been saying about it.

Take a moment and check all of The People Vs George Lucas reviews