If George Lucas Ruled the World

What would our planet be like if George Lucas was in charge? Would he be benevolent as ruler, or would he perhaps fall victim to the absolute corruption of absolute power?

I have no idea, but I bet the world would be a much more interesting place. So here’s what I imagine would change if we had Emperor Lucas.

1) That’s No Moon…

Come on, this one was too easy! How could you NOT want to build an orbital weapons platform?

2) NASA Gets a Blank Check

We’d be on Mars in the next year, not the next decade

3) There’d Be One Religion

Hope your blood is full of Midichlorians. Whatever the hell they are.

4) History of the World, Part 2

George would rewrite history books to meet HIS version of the past, and figure that all old history books would have disintegrated within the next century.

5) Cloning Humans Made Legal

How else would he build his army?

6) Robotics: The Next BIG Thing

Hey, I want my own R2 unit!

7) Eventually, We’d All Be Bald

That’s right, a THX joke. And just like the movie, not a very good one. But just think how the hat industry would flourish!

8) Plastic Politicians

If you get a job with the new Galactic Government, they’ll make an action figure of you. No matter how minor your role is.

9) C-SPAN Becomes CGI-SPAN

Every senator is replaced by a CGI alien. As long as there are no Gungans, that might not be too bad.

10) The World WILL End in 2012

According to Seth Rogen, George actually believes that the world will end in 2012. So come what may, he’ll make sure it happens. See #1.

So there you have it; the top 10 things that George would do if he ever became emperor of the world. I have to admit, it’s not a terrible future. Tons of money would get dropped into research and science, we’d all be using lightsaber letter openers, and Harley-Davidson could make a REALLY cool speeder bike. I can certainly think of worse futures.

What do YOU think would change? Tell us in the comments, or hit us up on Facebook and let us know!

Opening at The Loft Cinema in Tucson, AZ

The People vs George Lucas will be showing at The Loft Cinema, known as “Tucson’s nonprofit independent art house”, from 7/29 to 8/04.
The Loft was Voted Tucson’s Favorite Movie Theatre by readers of the Tucson Weekly, 2003 – 2010, and we look forward to seeing you there!

More Details

Where: The Loft Cinema – Tucson, AZ
Address: 3233 E. Speedway Blvd., Tucson, AZ 85716
When: 7/29 to 8/04
Theater website: The Loft Cinema

Top 5 Reasons Why Being A Stormtrooper Blows (Literally)

Are you fresh out of school and looking for an illustrious career path? Want to see unknown galaxies, meet new species and blow their planet up? Think serving in the Imperial militia is just the ticket to fame, fortune and hot green chicks with tentacles instead of hair? Do you want to be a Stormtrooper!?

Paper Troopers

Maybe you should think again…

Being a Stormtrooper may sound like a great idea, but in reality, there is no worse career path available. Why, you ask? Let’s take a look!

1) Your Training Will Be Subpar

Clearly, no one’s teaching these guys how to hold a weapon or aim, because unless you were one of the handful of crack shots that helped Lord Vader take Princess Leia’s ship, you will never hurt anything but walls. You might get a few glancing shots off a droid here and there, but every time you pull your blaster out, you better be ready for disappointment. Nothing is going to fall before you except over-sized teddy bears. Which brings us to point number two…

2) Your Army? Not So Powerful

Yeah, you’ll get awesome, cool weapons like blasters and AT-ATs, but in the end, it’s all useless without proper training. Your whole army is gonna get their asses handed to them by Ewoks. Ewoks, the cute, cuddly looking rejects from the Teddy Ruxspin factory. Almost as embarrassing as Oompa-Loompas bringing down the British Empire.

3) The Armor

Clearly, the Stormtrooper armor is useless. Primitive, flint-tipped spears go through it like a hot knife through warm butter. It’s not like the Empire doesn’t have any money. They built two Death Stars! But none of that money is being spent on the little guy doing the grunt work. Where do they get this stuff, Ord Mantell?

4) Your Death

Your death will suck. You will fall victim to giant tentacle desert monsters where the aforementioned third-rate armor won’t protect you much from being digested over the next two-thousand years.. Yay. You will also be mowed down en masse by guys in robes with really sharp flashlights. So much for a noble death.
Oh, and did I mention the teddy bears?

5) Your Boss

That’s right, your boss. He’s a seven foot tall asthmatic cyborg who lives in a black Easter egg. He makes you call him “Lord” and he’s a control freak in need of anger management. Do they not have Prozac on the Death Star?

He’s also one of only three to five people (depending on the movie) who believes in some mystic religion that lets him choke people without touching them. Great. If you’re ever late to work, your cult leader can drag you out of bed with his mind. Actually, he’s such a temperamental perfectionist, he’ll probably just choke you out for being late.

Oh, and his armor is WAAAAY cooler than yours. Because it works!

There are five reasons being a Stormtrooper blows. If you thought being a Stromtrooper sounded like the better career move, try something less dangerous. Like being Dick Cheney’s hunting guide.

Can you think of any other reasons? Or maybe why being a Stormtrooper ISN’T such a bad idea?

Tell us in the comments, or even better, shout it out on our Facebook page!

Exciting News About People Vs George Lucas in the US

Hey everyone! There are some great things happening! I know we haven’t updated the blog in a while, but your patience is about to be rewarded: The movie’s distribution has been kicked into high gear, and there are a whole slew of new cities and towns where it will be showing.

And to make sure everyone out there has the latest news about the release of The People Vs. George Lucas, we’re going to start interacting with fans a lot more!

The Fans Keep the Dream Alive

Fans are important. What makes Star Wars thrive is its community. Our dedication and willingness to spend money en masse every time a new Star Wars product is released is what made a 70’s science fiction saga blossom into the juggernaut that we now know and love.

We know we have a responsibility to our fans, and by extension, Star Wars fans everywhere. So we are going to continue our mission of reaching out to the Star Wars community and making sure they’re heard. We started with The People Vs. George Lucas, and now we’re reaching out online.

The most notable change will be the blog. We’re going to start updating it at least twice a week with different Star Wars debates. We’re also going to be reviewing fan made and public videos based on Star Wars. And each week we’ll feature a video chosen by you, the fans. So if you have a Star Wars video you want us to feature, fill us in.

Let’s Get Social

We’re going to start being a lot more active on Twitter and Facebook, updating and, more importantly, responding, every day. We’ll be talking with fans and we encourage you to talk back. We’ll also be holding contests and giving away prizes in the cities where the film is showing.

All in all, there are a lot of new things happening, and we’re really excited about it all!

How about you? Excited about the new US screening dates?